Keep Calm and Carry On

Boyfriends, boyfriends, boyfriends.

Never there when you want one, always there when you see someone you'd rather shag.

Anyway. I want one. While I am enjoying my current relationship with my right hand (or, the Palm of Delight, as it prefers to be known), it just isn't fulfilling anymore.

Problem is, I don't really know any gay people in cardiff. And I missed out on signing up for the Gay Society (and doesn't that just sound like a title of a film from the fifties? Either that, or some kind of porn) so while I could go to the meetings I would have to sit in the corner like a social leper because everyone else will have bonded at the beginning of term. I could take one of my female friends, but then people might get the wrong idea - about both of us...

Maybe I'll just go clubbing and pull someone random. Always good fun - but doesn't solve the long term problem. After the one night stand, we're back to the Palm of Delight.

Maybe I'll just get some fresh porn and masturbate until I'm blind.

I was going to start going to the gym. And before you burst a blood vessel from laughing - I'm not going to. It sounds too much like hard work.

Although I have it on very good authority that the guy who does the induction courses is built like a brick shithouse and flexes very pleasingly.

I think I'll just go on a diet instead.