Keep Calm and Carry On

I'm recovering from the fourth night out in a row.

Not good.

I had a crap load of stuff to say in this entry, even to the extent of composing parts of it in my head before - but now I've sat down to write it, it has simply gone.

So I'll try my best to recreate the masterpiece that would have been.

I'm feeling a little thin - and not waist-wise (that would not be something to complain about) - but emotionally. I feel stretched out and, well, faded. Like I've aged ten years in three days. Now, I know a lot of that hinges on the fact that I've been out drinking every night since Wednesday. But I think that I've been out every night because stuff isn't completely right.

But I'm not sure what's wrong.

It could be the money thing. I've got to go to the bank tomorrow and beg the bank manager for an extension to my overdraft. If not, I shall have to borrow some money from my best friend. Still, he earns a fuckload (his monthly wages are about equivalent to my student loan for the whole year) so he may cough up. But I hate doing this.

And it's all because I can't tell my parents that I spent the money they sent me for my bond for next year and I have to write a cheque for said bond on Tuesday. It's going to bounce like a bitch. And I know that even if I manage to weasel out of this fix by borrowing money - it will come back and bite me on the arse sooner or later, because these things always do.

Could be that. Might not be. Don't know.

Last night was reasonably fun, though. I took my friends Weird Amy and Laura 2 (and I always feel I should add :The Return to that nickname) to Club X, a rather funky gay club in town. Laura informed me that she'd never been to a gay club before and she now knew what it felt like for me to go to straight clubs all the time (the 'you can look, but you can't have' syndrome). So, it was fun - but no sex. I'd like to say it was because I had two girls with me, and I wouldn't let them go home on their own. But it's not strictly true. While I wouldn't have let them go home alone (because it ain't safe out there, folks) it isn't the whole truth.

I was feeling thin. And so, like a cat chasing its tail, we come back to that. I was surrounded by lots of healthy and fit young men (at least, I assume thay were healthy from what I saw...) and I wasn't interested beyond 'oooooh, he's pretty. I wonder what he looks like naked?'.

Something is radically wrong if I don't want sex. Horrific.

I just remembered! Remember that essay I had to write t'other day? I got 9/10 for it! Which just shows what can be achieved with a little hard work and eight pints of Caffreys. It looks like I'll be writing all my essays pissed as a fart from now on.