Keep Calm and Carry On

OK, it still hurts. It really hurts to stand up. So I'm having to stay in one place and have minions fetch things for me. And by minions, I mean parents.

I wonder how long I can milk this for? Not for more than another few days, I'm sure. Still, it's fun while it lasts...

But you know the worst thing? I'm still thinking about sex, but the mere thought makes me ache. It's awful. I mean, I can't even get away with a good wank, for fear I'd get a bit too vigorous and ram my fist into some seriously bruised tissue. And that would be enough to put me off for life...

I think I could just about manage a blowjob. So - if there are any volunteers, let me know. Because I'm going crazy.

And the hair growing back on my crotch is itching like mad.

I hate my life.