Keep Calm and Carry On

Sex on the beach? Vastly overrated - especially on a shingle beach. Ow, fucking ow!! Still, I was grateful that there was no sand to get into unfortunate crevices. I could see that really putting a crimp in my sex life...

Skinny dipping, however, is the pastime for the future. It's exciting and fun and you get to indulge in plenty of underwater groping.

So there we were, me and a guy I'd met in a bar, on the beach at 3 a.m. It was pitch black so we stripped off and ran for the sea. It was great - until we couldn't find our clothes. So we ran up and down the beach, stark bollock naked, while some random people were taking photos. Absolutely hilarious. When we finally did find out clothes, I realized we'd just been skinny dipping in the one part of the beach directly opposite the police station! Heh.

So far this holiday, my tally stands at 2 Swedish men, 1 Greek and 2 Dutch boys (at the same time). Can we say slut? I think we can.

But I've decided - Swedish men are all fucking clones. It's uncanny. You've seen one swede, you've seen them all. But anyway...